How to Pick a Karaoke Song If You Can’t Sing

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Step 1: Get partners
Get a talented person or two to sing with you, so you can mostly just mouth the words. Or find someone loud enough to drown you out entirely.

Step 2: Keep it simple
If you’re on your own, begin by narrowing down potential songs by complexity. Look for a simple verse-chorus-verse structure and a reasonable tempo.

Tip
Down a shot before you take the stage—alcohol is a time-honored inhibition-reducer.

Step 3: Stick to the middle
Stick to songs that are sung mostly in the middle of the standard vocal range, with as little variation as possible. In other words, stay away from tunes by Mariah ‘I Can Shatter Glass with My Vocal Cords’ Carey.

Step 4: Rap it up
For an easy way out, pick a rap song, or anything that is more spoken than sung, like ‘These Boots Are Made for Walkin’.’ It’s kind of cheating, but what do you care?

Tip
Favor songs whose lyrics you know. Yes, karaoke machines show you the words as you go along, but this way you can concentrate on your pitch and tone.

Step 5: Consider weird songs
Consider weird songs. If no one really knows how a song should go, they won’t know you’re massacring it.

Step 6: Keep it short
Keep it short and sweet—three minutes of bad singing is less likely to get you pelted with lime garnishes and maraschino cherries than six.

Step 7: Have fun
Most important, have fun. And don’t worry about the audience—if people wanted real music, they would have gone to a jazz club.

Did You Know?
Karaoke was popularized in Japan in the 1970s, and spread to the rest of the world in the 1980s.

44 thoughts on “How to Pick a Karaoke Song If You Can’t Sing”

  1. High Carb Whole Foods

    The point of karaoke is not to sing well. If you happen to sing well, it’s
    just a pleasant surprise for the audience, but no one should expect it.

  2. Already learned a few of these for myself lol. Advice like “have fun” isn’t
    helpful though :p If you enjoyed singing in front of people you wouldn’t
    need the rest of the steps at all.

  3. @silverrock936: Sry but you have NO idea what REAL metal is! It´s not only
    screaming or something. If you don´t believe listen to Edguy or Avantasia
    before give your fucking mean about this!

  4. how to pick a karaoke song if you can’t sing: step 1: Play ‘psychosocial’
    step 2: Start screaming tip: if anyone asks, tell them you were watching
    Howcast just now.

  5. MrDeepalbatross

    @WanaBSedtd lol ok idk how old u are but whoever told u a single shot of
    alchohol would kill u is either an asshole or just retarded, cuz there are
    kids in other countries that drink absynthe like its water, as young as 4,
    and u can type so i assume ur not 4

  6. Ooh, who is this handsome man with a kick ass beard? They did a good job
    with character portrayal. Don’t know how I ended up here but thanks for the
    laugh!

  7. NO,NO,NO……”spicy foods” should be avoided because these cause
    irritation to our throat as well as our vocal cords, and may cause us to
    clear our throats more often, creating more discomfort in our voice! BAD
    IDEA…

  8. Did you know?

    Roberto del Rosario is the president of the Trebel Music Corporation and
    the Filipino inventor of the Karaoke Sing Along System in 1975.

    Source:
    (dot)about(dot)com/od/filipinoscientists/p/Karaoke(dot)htm

  9. Raymond Palmer

    Try singing in a group. It require s a lighter vocal set and the
    subconscious will automatically match the key. Several runs and you will be
    able to sing on your own and fairly well.

  10. Our minds and our bodies are consequently (evolutionists assert) genetically ‘onerous-wired’ for producing singing noises, just as we’re genetically programmed to pay attention and reply to the singing of others, in many different situations and kinds.

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